Because, I love you
by Lulu Mercury
Summary: Severus Snape objects at Lily and James’ wedding. Will Lily choose the arrogant toe-rag, father of her unborn child, or the one she’s in love with? ‘ “Do you know what’s growing inside you?” he spat…’


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter doesn't belong to me but to JK Rowling. They are her characters, and we like playing with them ;)

Lily was a beautiful bride, as she walked down the aisle. James was gazing at her like she was the most striking thing he had ever seen, and Sirius was there as his best man. Her red hair flowed down her back and was a brilliant stark contrast against her lacy, white, wedding dress.

She loved James, in her own way. In the only way she understood love with James. His ego had deflated somewhat, but there was always a very proud, arrogance about him. Underneath that he was a very honest and loving man, to her, to his friends…to almost every body who was not a Slytherin whom he happened to be quite cruel towards. It was almost enough…enough for Lily to forget who she was in love with. If Severus had not dabbled in Dark Arts, called her a Mudblood, and walked down the wrong path, Lily would have been with her best friend, her first friend, the boy she loved who grew into the young man she had loved. He had been the first person to introduce her to this new life she led. He had told her she was a witch. He was the first person she had ever associated with the new life of witchcraft and wizardry, and every time he peered at her intensely, she couldn't help but blush. She had been developing feelings for Severus, and it almost stung, thinking about what could have been.

The music rang in her ears, each step seemed to take longer than it should. She was carrying James' unborn child and yet her heart beat wildly in her chest at the horror of making the wrong decision. _What if…_

Finally she reached the tall, scrawny man. His black hair was still messy and untameable.

"We are gathered here on this beautiful day to witness the union between James Potter and Lily Evans…" the priest started. Sirius smiled encouragingly at Lily, his grey eyes glowing in pride and happiness, as he glanced at Lily, and his best friend admiringly.

All of the words the priest spoke after that were suddenly lost, as Severus' face zoomed into the forefront of her mind. She pictured his severe black eyes. Beautiful eyes. Lily remembered how the intensity of his gaze use to make her blush. She certainly wasn't a blushing bride today…

Lily had not noticed the Mahogany church doors creak open; no one had. The man that slunk in could have blended in with the walls behind him. He hid in the shadows as he watched his former best friend, the woman he loved with his entire heart, marry the man he hated with his entire being. Snape noticed that James was wearing an expression worthy of someone who had won the finest trophy prize. It sickened him. He felt his stomach jolt uncomfortably and his heart hammer as he watched Lily.

Lily's own heart pounded and her need for oxygen increased as she heard the priest ask if anyone objected. She almost wished somewhere inside herself that someone would. There was a pause. Then she heard the voice she had been dreaming of. That striking voice that she would recognize anywhere. Gentle, cold, quite, laced in danger, passion…

"I _do_" he said softly. Every head spun around to the sallow faced, dark haired man. Gasps and whispers filled the church and suddenly James Potter was marching up to him, wand out, expression of utter anger etched on his the face that would be so like his sons, but his son would be nothing like James Potter and everything like Lily Evans.

"NO, JAMES!" Lily screamed, panic rising in her body - blood must have been flowing through her veins at rapid speed, her heart beat furiously, her head hurt, James was going to curse Sev, her best and only real friend.

"How _dare_ you? You filthy snake! You dare come to my wedding and object? What did you think was going to happen? That my Lily would run to you with open arms. She never loved you! Don't you get it? Never! If she did, would she be marrying me? No one could ever love something as slimy and horrible as you!" James snarled and it was this that made tears pour down Lily's emerald green eyes. It was like she was seeing James clearly for the first time. Snape's body shook and his expression was one of a man in agony, a man in utter torture. He was peering at Lily through his tightened eyes.

James raised his wand. The church was silent. Lily sprinted towards Snape, her dress flowing behind her. She stood in front of Snape.

"What are you doing? Lily, you said you weren't friends with him anymore. After what he called you!"

"I forgive him." Lily said and Snape felt his heart leap. They looked at each other.

"You do?" he asked.

"Yes" she smiled.

"Why?" he croaked.

"Because, I love you."

And there was no regret in Lily's heart. There was nothing she could do or say to James, but whisper "I'm sorry" She could not look at Sirius, because she knew the accusation of disloyalty would be etched all over his features. James looked utterly perplexed, and the whispers and gasps and furious mutters filling the church had vanished. She could feel every eye on her, and she took Snape's hand in hers, and walked away from the man she almost married.+

"Do you…feel bad…for him?" Snape asked cautiously.

"In many ways, yes, Sev, I do. He's the father of my unborn child! You have to understand, that I cannot write him entirely out of my life. It won't be fair to my child, and the child has to understand that he's not a bad person - don't look at me like that, Sev. I got to know James Potter very well, and he's a flawed person like everybody but he's also very caring and genuine. He will certainly make a fantastic father. The problem was, I was not in love with him. I wanted so badly to forget about you…that I leaped into a romance with him that would have been the most fatal mistake of my life…" They were sitting under their tree in the village of Godric's Hollow, beside the azure lake with the oozing waterfall. Their tree was now blooming lilies, that is why Snape showed this secret, beautiful garden to Lily that day, that day that Lily changed his life forever with the simple yet complex sequence of words _"Because, I love you"_

Snape had hardly dared believe her, but the sincerity in those eyes was undeniable.

They had never kissed, and the sun was setting. It cast a haunting scene over the little meadow, purple dusk clouded the skies and only when the sun began to set could you look at it, and appreciate its beauty, without having to tear your eyes away because of the burn; it did not burn or hurt when it was being swallowed this deep. Now would be the perfect time to share their first kiss and suddenly Snape's eyes found Lily's. She had been gazing at the sunset too.

"Do you love me, Sev?" uncertainly ghosted her features. Snape felt his stomach jolt.

"I love you, Lily. I always have."

"Always?"

"Yes, always! I'm going to wake up and find I've been dreaming. How could have the beautiful Lily left popular, Quidditch star, Potter, for snarky, slimy, git, Severus?"

He felt his slender, pale, hand clasped in her small warm one.

"If this was a dream, it would be the best one of my life" she said quietly, blushing, as he gazed at her deeply.

"You ceased our friendship because of my…fascination" he began, with his face cringing slightly, "with the Dark Arts. I know I promised to leave him, but now, Dumbledore has me playing double spy, and I am now pretending to be a Death Eater…I understand why this information will make you want to leave me-"

"No, Sev. To be fighting him from within, in the shadows, on the sidelines…is far more braver than any _'Crass Gryffindor centre spotlight action' _Do you see what I mean? to pretend your something your not, with everyone thinking the worst of you…but fooling the enemy until you get the best of them…is truly so much braver, if not, simply, craftier, sneakier, bravery. Slytherins are just misunderstood.' she said softly, pushing him down so that he was lying amount autumn leaves with her. They scrunched up in her hair.

"No one's ever loved me, and I d-don't understand why you do. I … I'm at my best when I'm with you but I can't help that I am sometimes very cynical and spiteful, or that…my destiny is dangerous and I'm… that - Lily, how, _why?_" he croaked, feeling a lump in his throat and feeling his body tingle with nerves. She kissed him and he hadn't seen it coming. Twilight fell upon them and the first sight of twinkling stars appeared. His lips felt so soft and pure against hers and hers felt like they really were petals off an innocent lily. It was a kiss that made them both feel as if this was unreal and yet real, reality mingled with dreams and serenity tangled with passion, as they kissed faster and deeper, making them both breathe more heavily. They broke apart, and Lily was warmed to see that this man, usually adept of hiding his emotions, was blushing too.

"No, you're not perfect. You are a vindictive little menace, sometimes, Sev. And guess what? I'm not perfect either but have you thought, maybe, that we're perfect for each other? _How, why? _Love is unexplainable, and unconditional, so you could call me a Mudblood everyday and I would still love you!"

"Don't, please…don't."

"Why do you love _me, _Sev? I was a bad friend for ditching you just because you called me that. I didn't care to understand, and I was cruel when I said none of my friends could understand why I even spoke to you."

He smiled.

"I - just love you."

"Exactly. So don't ask how, or why. It's simple. Because, I love you."

"Because, I love you" he repeated. His black eyes usually reminiscent of empty black tunnels twinkled.

Love was chaotic, it was manic, ecstatic, magical, filled with admiration, adoration, love, intense loathing, passion, understanding, and love was unquestionable and inescapable.

Severus Snape was a sneering, scathing, somehow gentle and sarcastic individual, bound to snarl at his beautiful Lily, but Lily Evans, wouldn't love him any other way.

Lily awoke and the flaming autumn leaves had acted like a pillow. Severus sensed her awaking and also awoke.

"Severus…will you marry me?" Lily unexpectedly said as soon as their eyes met.

"What…what about the Dark Lord?"

"What about him?" she snapped, and stood up, towering over him.

"If he finds out about us…and marrying will make it more obvious -"

"How so?! Traditionally men propose, Sev! And I just did, and now your turning me down? Just because you're worried about what your precious little Lord Voldemort will do-"

He pushed her roughly into the tree.

"Don't say his name" he sneered. "I'm worried he will kill you!"

"How does marrying make it more obvious? We're together whether we're married or not, he won't find out -"

"Knowing you, you will want a big affair and weddings attract guests, people…likely Death Eaters! Why would you want to risk that sort of exposure?!" he hissed, grabbing her wrists, as she struggled and tried to free herself from his grasp on her against the tree.

"Stop lying to me! You just don't want Voldemort knowing your with a filthy little Mudblood like me, eh, Sev? That's pathetic! If he ever found out…I am more than capable. I can defend myself."

"Do you know what's growing inside you?" he spat, looking at her slightly rounded belly with disdain. "a child marked by him as his equal, with the power he knows not! I heard the prophecy, Lily, but he doesn't know the child is yours. Yet. He will find out, and he will try to kill you, and the child, if it is born!" he seethed, anger seeping through him like a volcano. He couldn't let her die, and she wanted to parade their love around…if the Dark Lord found out…if Lily died…he would not survive.

"_What?" _she asked hollowly.

"You heard me"

"You knew this, and you didn't tell me?!" she yelled, tears pouring down her face. "my child! And you're working for him…this…I -"

"I told you being with me was dangerous" he snarled.

"How _dare_ you? Don't you presume to know everything. You don't. My child is marked for danger, we all are…and with courage and conviction we will beat him! Parading our love?! I meant a wedding with no guests! If anything, love is…love is what will beat him. Stop acting like loving me is your weakness. It's our strength! I told you to let go of me, YOU'RE HURTING ME!" she yelped, as his tight grip on her wrists increased and his fingernails dug into the skin, tearing at it, making it bleed…

He had her dominantly pushed into the tree further, harder, his whole weight bearing down on her smaller body. Snape was not being his usual serene self that he was when he was with her. He was being someone he loathed, but he was so angry at her… she disregarded her life so flippantly, and he treasured her life with his entire being.

He let go of her wrists and kissed her. Her scowl was lost, her lips limp in surprise as she felt his fierce kiss. Then she kissed back with all her hatred and love. They parted and Severus backed away slightly. Lily was breathing heavily, and the flash of fury did not leave her green eyes. The rage seemed to have vanished in Severus as quickly as it came, as he stood rigid, his face expressionless.

She raised her wrists to his face. They were red and bruised, with spots of blood from where his fingernails had dug into her.

"Thought you didn't want to be like Tobias. Your abusive, raging, alcoholic, _father!"_

He backed away from her a few more feet, horror suddenly plastered on his face as he his eyes fixated on her wrists.

And tears welled up in his eyes and he gasped as they fell freely.

"I'm so -" his throat closed over, a lump emerged and he could hardly breathe. He had hurt his precious Lily and memories of Tobias backing Eileen into a corner, his hooked nose looking down at her with disgust as he raised his fist…Severus could barley breathe. He covered his eyes with his face, ashamed.

"I'm so, s-so, sorry"

Then he felt her warm body pressed gently against his. Her hands glided past his hair, sweeping his hair back so she could whisper into his ear.

"I'm sorry too"

Severus shivered. Her hand glided against his pallid face, and he finally found it within him to cease looking at the ground, and stare into her expressive eyes. They were no longer narrowed in loathing. He was able to breathe again.

Severus pressed his forehead against Lily's.

"Will you marry me?" he whispered.

"Obviously, I will, Sev" she laughed and he felt his heart leap at the beautiful sound of her laugh. When they had been estranged, it was this sound that Severus had been dreaming about. Her nice laugh.

"Let's go" he said, reaching for her hand.

They walked away into the distance and along the empty village.

"I will always love you, Sev…"

"As will I. From this life, into the next and forever" Her burning warm hand warmed his ice cold hand and Severus remembered with a free and complete heart, so full of love, he could scarcely contain it. _"Because, I love you"_


End file.
